I have a soup can...in my head.

The anticipation was killing us. Matthew and I dropped Danica off at school and rode together to the follow-up appointment with Dr. Margraf. We arrived early for our 9am appointment. Once we were called back to his exam room, we waited for another 30 minutes. We sat in silence, knowing we were going to hear one of two things - we would be able to have the aneurysm coiled or I would have surgery. Matthew went in "hoping for the best but expecting the worse" and I went in being positive--that the aneurysm would be able to be coiled. 

Well…it can’t be coiled. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach…you know…the feeling that someone just told you the worst possible news. I had that same feeling ten days ago when I was told I had an aneurysm. 

Dr. Margraf  began by telling us that the aneurysm had a wide neck, like a “soup can” and because of that, the endovascular coiling would not be a procedure he would recommend. He showed us an image from the cerebral arteriogram I had done on Wednesday and explained that it was directly behind the left eye. He said that he would recommend having a craniotomy and clamp the aneurysm. With this surgery, there are several risks…loss of vision in the left eye, as well as others but at this point that was all I heard. I tried to hold back my emotions but I was so overwhelmed with the news that I couldn’t do anything but cry.  Dr. Margraf continued to talk with Matthew about the surgery and risks. He later said he wanted us to go for a second opinion. Thank the Lord, Dr. Margraf doesn’t think he’s God.  He wasn’t trying to be Superman and perform an unnecessary procedure that wouldn’t “fix the problem.”  He is referring me to Dr. Takanori Fukushima. (I’m going to call him Dr. Taka for the sake of my tongue.) Dr. Taka will discuss options (whether to wait and monitor the aneurysm or to schedule surgery in the near future). Dr. Margraf said that 7 mm is usually the point at which they recommend surgery and he reminded me that mine is only 5 mm.  He said Dr. Taka will take care of us.  He told me that I would be just fine. That’s great but…this is my brain you’re talkin’ ‘bout! Dr. Taka is world-known and has performed over 1600 surgeries on aneurysms. This doctor is considered to be the “Tiger Woods of neurosurgery.” Matthew said he just wants him to shoot under par during my surgery. J He is the best, we’ve been told.

Dr. Margraf’s nurse will call me with an appointment date/time tomorrow. Dr. Taka is only in town about two weeks out of every month so I don’t know how soon the appointment will be. We can only hope and pray that God will work Dr. Taka’s schedule out perfectly.

More updates tomorrow…